Cartoon Rats Ranked by Their Food Choices

Gong hei fat choy!

Xin nian kuai le!

Since the Year of the Rat is in full swing, let’s take a look at which cartoon rats have the most sophisticated palates and why you should care. I might only answer one of those questions, we’ll see if we have time for both. These rankings (from worst to best rat palate, is that a real sentence?) are based purely on my own biased opinion.

However, I’m certainly open to discussion on this depending on your knowledge of the competitive world of cartoon rats ranking.

Templeton from Charlotte’s Web
A fair may very well be a veritable schmorgasboard-orgasboard, but I just can’t approve of anyone who thinks that storing rotten eggs, in your home AND near others, is a good idea.

Nick and Fletcher from Chicken Run
These rats also like eggs, but at least they have the good sense to go after fresh ones.

Master Splinter from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
The Turtles are obviously more famous for their love of bizarre pizza combinations. However, Master Splinter has been known to eat weird foods too, including the “Cheesesicle”. Which, I don’t even know how to describe and I probably won’t ever make.

Roscuro from The Tale of Despereaux
He loves quality soup. But he also kidnaps women. So I’d say his palate is pretty good, but his moral compass…not so much.

Nicodemus from The Secret of NIMH
You never actually see Nicodemus eat in th nightmare inducing movie The Secret of NIHM. But one can assume that a rat of his intelligence would have better taste in food than that idiot Jeremy.

Remy Rat from Ratatouille
The obvious answer for “sophisticated palate” but I find Remy a little too pretentious, what with all his insistence on using quality ingredients. What’s wrong with just eating popcorn for dinner I ask you? I prefer his non-union, Brazilian counterpart Marcel Toing from Ratatoing.

Ratigan from The Great Mouse Detective
Ahem, that’s Professor Raigan thank you very much. Wait, am I correcting myself? Anyway, only a “big mouse” of such wit and intelligence could top the list of sophisticated rat palates. He drinks the finest champagne and commands the allegiance of both bats and cats. What more do you need?

Now, given this list is all about rats and food, you might be wondering why Chuck E. Cheese was not included. It’s not because the pizza at the establishment that he represents tastes like melted cheese on warm cardboard. Here’s the thing, old Chuck is disqualified from being in the running at all because he is now a MOUSE. That’s right, he was quietly switched over from rat to mouse in the 90’s and no one noticed. Or maybe other people noticed, but I didn’t. Look the takeaway here is pour yourself a delicious glass of rat milk and go watch the movie Ratatoing.