Stolen Flanders Eggs

Homer: I’m sorry, I can’t eat these. Flanders has freshly-pooped eggs, orange as a sunset over a field of ripe Doritos, while these…look, I’m just gonna say what we’re all thinking: store eggs are yellow. They’re yellow eggs, Marge. Yellow.

Homer: Boy, I won’t live long enough to teach you about sex, but I’ll be damned if I don’t show you how to steal eggs. Okay, son, stay sharp in there. If chickens are known for two things, it’s bravery and intelligence.

Homer: How can idiots say there’s no God when a species that evolved from dinosaurs feeds us their unfertilized babies?
Bart: Ugh, if I could lay eggs like these, I’d never leave my bedroom.
– The Marge-ian Chronicles (The Simpsons Season 27 – Episode 16)

This recipe was a request and I am nothing if not beholden to my loyal readers, so here we go! I know it’s not cool to like new Simpsons (and trust me, there are plenty of stinkers in the mix) but I quite enjoyed The Marge-ian Chronicles. It’s an episode that explores Marge and Lisa’s relationship in a logical way, plus space exploration, plus a side plot about backyard chickens!

Rodd and Todd eat their eggs coddled, while the Simpson family eat theirs sunny side up; not a problem, I can make both. What WAS a problem: the egg yolks weren’t the fantastic orange color that Homer raved about in the episode, what gives?!?

Ingredients

Organic, Free-Range Eggs

Directions

Coddled Eggs

Pre-heat the oven to 350 degrees. Place one cracked eggs in a ramekin or, if you’re fancy, a special egg coddling vessel. These exist. Fill a pan with water and place the ramekin inside the dish. The water should not get into the egg. Bake for approximately 5 minutes.

Sunny Side Up Eggs

Preheat a frying pan on medium-high heat. Grease the pan with whatever you like, I prefer butter. Once the butter is melted, quickly crack the egg in the pan and crank the heat for 1 minute.

Sorry to break this to you…wait, no, I’m not sorry about this at all. Anyway, it is a fallacy that the color of an egg yolk reflects the egg quality. Egg yolk color is based on the chickens diet and has nothing to do with how happy they are or how many roads they have crossed. I mean, my eggs were supposedly the happiest chickens that ever lived, eating a diet rich in foods chickens love (hamburgers?) and the yolks were an “unnatural yellow”. I’m left to conclude that either the organic egg producers were lying to me or the idea of eggs tasting better or being healthier based on yolk color is wrong. And maybe a little big eggest? And before you jump to conclusions and think that Egg Council creep has gotten to me too, I’ll have you know that I scared off a guy in an egg costumer just yesterday. You’d better run egg!

Cromulence: 8 Nod-Bots out of 10

Stolen Flanders Eggs Recipe From: The Marge-ian Chronicles (The Simpsons Season 27 – Episode 16)