Lemonade

I think The Simpsons writers are real Lemonade enthusiasts, because this beverage comes up as a plot point more often than you might realize. Of course, the most obvious example is from the classic episode Lemon of Troy, which includes one of my all time favorite jokes: “Wait a minute, there’s a lemon behind that rock!”

That episode also features a less than subtle jab at Country Time lemonade mix: “There’s never been anything close to a lemon in it, I swear!” and based on drinking Country Time mix in the past, I have to agree with that statement. For my lemonade, I took inspiration from Barbara Bush:

George Bush: This is my wife, Barbara. Call her Bar. Would you like some lemonade?
Ned: Tip top notch!
George: Okily dokily.
Ned: Thankily dankily! Greatalicious!
George: Scrumpdiddlerific!
Both: Fine and dandy like sour candy!
George: Bar’s a whiz with cold drinks, aren’t you, Bar?  Don’t understand lemonade myself, not my forte.
– Two Bad Neighbors (The Simpsons Season 7 – Episode 13)

Bar’s lemonade is described as being like sour candy, so that means it needs to be both sour and sweet. If the lemonade is too sweet it’s hard to drink too much and if it’s too sour it’s going to hurt your stomach. Balance is key! Or maybe I could also make some Astro-lemonade instead. What precisely makes it Astro? Look, I don’t want to start a whole thing with this…All right, enough quotes – let’s get to the recipe.

Ingredients

• 5 Lemons
• 1 cup Simple Syrup (1/2 cup of Sugar and Water)
• 2 1/2 cups of Water

Directions

Make a simple syrup by combining 1/2 cup of sugar and water. Stir and gently boil for 5-10 minutes depending on how concentrated you want the syrup; then allow to cool. Juice the lemons and strain the lemon juice to make sure there isn’t any seeds or excess pulp. Combine lemon juice, simple syrup, and water. Serve with lots of ice.

This was a great lemonade with just the right amount of sweet and sour. I would even describe it as really hitting the spot…

Itchy: You make really good lemonade, Scratchy.
Scratchy: Oh, thank you, Itchy.
– Itchy & Scratchy & Marge (The Simpsons Season 2 – Episode 9)

I debated whether or not I should make the “lemonade” that Bart and Milhouse make at the end of Lemon of Troy. But pouring a few drops of lemon juice into a glass and then adding a LOT of sugar is less of a drink and more of a site gag. Making that drink seems kind of stupid, but perhaps you, oh reasonable reader, are stupider like a fox which I guess means you can do whatever you like.

Cromulence: 9 Roman Numerals out of 10

Lemonade Recipe From: Two Bad Neighbors (The Simpsons Season 7 – Episode 13)