A Single Plum Floating in Perfume Served in a Man’s Hat from The Simpsons

I can think of at least two things wrong with a single plum floating in perfume, served in a man’s hat. Actually, that’s not true, I can think of MANY things wrong with this cocktail / drink / whatever you want to call it. I know that Barney’s girlfriend, Kako, who is an obvious parody of Yoko Ono, is a Japanese conceptual artist. So perhaps she wasn’t actually planning to drink this thing, maybe she just wanted to look at it? Smell it? Either way, here’s my list of issues with the “beverage”:

• Plums don’t float
• You shouldn’t drink perfume
• Hats are not intended to be used as drinking vessels

I know, I know – that’s the joke. Still, I wanted to make these points clear before I get into the “recipe” since I had to make a few adjustments to make this thing happen. So, I used a woman’s hat but a man’s cologne, however, in today’s gender-fluid society I think this is acceptable. I’m sure it would be acceptable to Kako and she’s the one who ordered the drink. Also, I lined the hat with plastic wrap because I wasn’t about to soak a perfectly good hat in cologne since you KNOW I would never be able to get that smell out.

Ingredients

• Single Plum
• Man’s (woman’s) hat
• Perfume (or cologne) – I used Givenchy

Directions*

Line your hat with plastic wrap. Fill to the top of the plastic with the fragrance of your choice. Place plum in the hat and…look at it, I guess? Do NOT drink this! Also, do NOT eat the plum afterward unless you want something similar in taste to this.

*These are the directions I followed. I suggest you follow them as well if you don’t want to throw away your hat after making this. Either way, you’ll have to throw out the plum.

I realized afterwards that the picture doesn’t really do justice to how much freaking cologne is in the hat. Also, I didn’t explain it before, but the reason I used cologne and not perfume is because I hate the smell of fragrances. They usually give me headaches so I never wear them. El boyfriendo had some cologne that is probably 8 years old that he hasn’t worn in all that time but he never bothered to throw it out. I find this both endearing because he’s sensitive to my smell sensitivities but also frustrating because I really like throwing things away.

Also, I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention the Yoko Ono: One More Story exhibition at the Reykjavik Art Museum from a few years ago. At that exhibit, which was the work of Icelandic artist Ragnar Kjartansson, there was a real life a single plum floating in perfume, served in a man’s hat! Sadly I don’t like close enough to Iceland to have seen this exhibition. But based on my experience making this, I’ll bet it smelled…strong.

Cromulence: 1 Number 8…Belches out of 10

A Single Plum Floating in Perfume Served in a Man’s Hat from: Homer’s Barbershop Quartet (The Simpsons Season 5 – Episode 1)